One or two of my friends and relations, no that’s wrong it’s a whole lot of them, have accused me of having a smart mouth. I like to think that it’s called a talent for instant repartee or the witty retort.
This morning, as is my wont I arrived as usual at silly o’clock at my local gym (sorry Health Club and Fitness Centre) to be told that my annual membership fee was due. Once I had completed my daily dose of masochism in the gym and then recovered in the spa, I dressed and went out to the cafe bar to meet the young lady who looks after membership accounts.
I sat at a table and she provided me with a pot of tea and biscuits while she left to locate my folder. I picked up a copy of Esquire Men’s Magazine and saw that the front cover was emblazoned “What to wear at a Gay Wedding!” I poured myself a cup of tea and settled back to read.
Before I could become enlightened, the perky little girl/lady (I’m 78 so they are all sweeties to me) came back with my file. Before she could sit down with my forms, I said “Oh that was quick! I was just about to find out what I should wear to a Gay Wedding” and waved the copy of ‘Esquire’
Without blinking an eye and without even a trace of a smile, she came back with “Never mind, I’m sure you will be able to find something already in your closet”! Well . . . . . Never has my flabber been so gasted – Gosh I do dislike smart mouthed women, don’t you?
Once I had recovered from my speechlessness I rather wished that I had been about to read the article on “How to become a Paddle-boarder” if only to see what witty remark she could have made from that. Closet indeed!!!