Smart mouth gets his comeuppance!

One or two of my friends and relations, no that’s wrong it’s a whole lot of them, have accused me of having a smart mouth.  I like to think that it’s called a talent for instant repartee or the witty retort.

This morning, as is my wont I arrived as usual at silly o’clock at my local gym (sorry Health Club and Fitness Centre) to be told that my annual membership fee was due.  Once I had completed my daily dose of masochism in the gym and then recovered in the spa, I dressed and went out to the cafe bar to meet the young lady who looks after membership accounts.

I sat at a table and she provided me with a pot of tea and biscuits while she left to locate my folder.  I picked up a copy of Esquire Men’s Magazine and saw that the front cover was emblazoned “What to wear at a Gay Wedding!” I poured myself a cup of tea and settled back to read.

Before I could become enlightened, the perky little girl/lady (I’m 78 so they are all sweeties to me) came back with my file.  Before she could sit down with my forms, I said “Oh that was quick!  I was just about to find out what I should wear to a Gay Wedding” and waved the copy of ‘Esquire’

Without blinking an eye and without even a trace of a smile, she came back with “Never mind, I’m sure you will be able to find something already in your closet”!  Well . . . . . Never has my flabber been so gasted – Gosh I do dislike smart mouthed women, don’t you?

Once I had recovered from my speechlessness I rather wished that I had been about to read the article on “How to become a Paddle-boarder” if only to see what witty remark she could have made from that.  Closet indeed!!!

About Jake

Long retired travel writer, author and freelance journalist. Educated at Wolverton Grammar and Greenwich Naval College. Happily married since 1958, with a married son and daughter, a married granddaughter and an adult grandson. Hobbies rock-climbing, dinghy racing and ocean racing. Still regularly working out in the gym.

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