I think that my chum may be coming out!

I suppose that it is inevitable that friends often ask me for advice on travel and geography.  I often feel that it is just a way of opening a conversation with the big stand-offish guy standing on his own and not saying much.  It’s a waste of time constantly explaining that I’m not at all aloof and unfriendly, just very deaf.  I just don’t take part in conversations in a crowded room because I’m hard of hearing and most of the time everything becomes a loud buzz, sounding like a swarm of angry bees.

I suppose it might help if I wasn’t so vain that I grow my hair over my ears to hide my hearing aids, but sod it I don’t like people shouting at me as though I was deaf.

I digress; one of my rather fey friends (I am proud to say that I have shared many a bath with him after a game of rugby) was also standing away from the crowd looking a bit glum.  I told him to cheer up as he was looking as miserable as a seaside donkey.  He grinned and put on his best ‘camp’ accent said “I’m so hacked off Jake, just been to Waterstones and bought a book called ‘He Brides’ and when I got home I found it was all about these bloody Scottish Islands!”

I think he was joking but you will agree I do have some funny friends.

STOP PRESS:  Speaker John Bercow’s talkative, slapper, wife Sally has closed her Twitter account.  A nation mourns.  Perhaps we need a Guardian inspired parliamentary inquiry “Who Killed Tweeter Sal?”

About Jake

Long retired travel writer, author and freelance journalist. Educated at Wolverton Grammar and Greenwich Naval College. Happily married since 1958, with a married son and daughter, a married granddaughter and an adult grandson. Hobbies rock-climbing, dinghy racing and ocean racing. Still regularly working out in the gym.

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