I have had a long love affair with a car, now there’s a confession! I’ve owned a top of the range V8 Lexus since it was just a two year old. I call it a Louis XIV model because it has gold badges and bits all over. I have also given it a name I am embarrassed to say because hitherto all cars have been nothing to me but tin boxes, and I’ve owned a few. I’ve called my Lexus the novel name of Lexi. That’s it, confession over and I am red faced.
Lexi is approaching 16 years old; it’s the car that I’d always promised myself when I retired and I’m certain that it will see me out in luxurious motoring for as long as I last. Did I mention that she also has a personalised number plate which allows her to hide her age even though she is timeless? The rich widow who I purchased her late husband’s, hardly used car from, didn’t mention the plate so neither did I. The number plate is probably a lot more valuable than the car is; and no I don’t feel guilty.
On Saturday my local dealership sent me a gold inlaid, embossed invitation to the launch of their latest model. I don’t need to change my car in fact as at my age, not only could I not justify the cost, my wife tells me that I couldn’t afford one anyway. In spite of that I couldn’t resist having a look at the specification, just out of interest you understand.
I am also a self confessed gadget freak and tend to spoil myself with the latest boy’s toys such as iPhone, iPod, digital camera, thermal Wi-Fi printer, dash cam, etc, my toy box is overflowing. You get the picture. The ‘Confessions of a Shopaholic’ could have been written for me. Anyway, back to the new model, the specification was chock-full of bait to tempt one such as me. The lists of high tech gizmos such as multi-contour seats in the finest Connoly hide, with chambers which compensate for acceleration and cornering. Split screen Satellite Navigation system that made my present one as outdated as a road map and Parking Cameras to the front and rear. Individual rear passenger DVD players with wireless headphones, even in-car Wi-Fi, Advanced Voice Control for your phone, Auto Windscreen Wipers which switch themselves on at the first spot of rain. Auto-dip Headlamps when it detects oncoming vehicles. The car even alerts the driver if it detects drowsiness . . . . . . . and so on . . . . . and so on.
My juices were running, the Adrenalin kicked in and I went on to the dealership’s website. As I logged on someone immediately typed “Hello, my name is Martin how I can help you today?” Damn I’d been caught, sucker! I typed, “Hi this is only a general enquiry for the price of the LS480, and I’m not really in the market.” Martin quickly replied “You will never get a better time to buy. Because of Brexit and the fall in the exchange rate, I am able to offer a one off price of just £71,999!” . . . . Silence from my end . . . . .Oh my smart mouth . . . . . . and then I typed “Did I miss something, is that special rate a buy one get one free offer?” . . . . . . . . . . . Martin had hung up . . . . . .
Brexit indeed he obviously wasn’t aware of my Vote Leave/Grassroots Out campaign credentials.
Anyway what would I do with two cars? I think that I will stick with Lexi; after all she is the other love in my life. She is beautiful and in another 10 years she will be a Classic. We are both maturing perfectly together!
That’s it for another week, thanks for listening. As Arnie in the Terminator said “I’ll be back!”