My Wife doesn’t understand me!

All right so I am a gadget freak! I think it must have started with cameras or it might have been cars or could it have been boats?  To the exasperation of my long suffering wife I have flitted from box Brownie to 35mm through Twin lens Reflex to SLR. I then caught the digital bug and went on to bigger and better mega-pixels.

I had a Porsche 911, a Mercedes 450SEL then a Rolls Royce Silver Shadow in the 70s and now have a V8 Lexus complete with bells and whistles.  I first bought a mobile phone when they were the size of a house brick and a computer when the biggest and best had only a 40 MB hard drive.

I now have a Smartphone that has both a video and a camera that I have seldom used. I spend more time using it to access the internet than from my laptop or my desktop. My desktop has a terabyte of hard drive that I can never fill. I bought a PDA and continued to use a Filofax and then a hand held sat-nav after I was too old for much more hill-walking. I then bought a Tom-Tom Sat-Nav for my car about three months before buying a car which has one built into its dashboard.

Like a drug addict I have hooked my family and friends and some 10 years ago began a club together with my Son, Son-in-law and Grandson, called “He Who Dies With The Most Toys, Wins”.

My 42” flat screen TV was great then my Son bought a Home Cinema with a 50” flat screen (sulk), then my Son-in-Law bought one larger than my living room wall (bugger) but my Gaggia Espresso machine makes fabulous coffee and my iPod Video Classic is 80GB. So the other club members have X-Boxes and Wii sets but I am not into kid’s games.

When I came home with one of those infra-red gadgets, that Estate Agents use to measure room sizes. My wife asked why I needed that and then went spare when I said “because Robin hadn’t got one!”  That set her going, I will never understand women.

I am now sitting in my study (spare bedroom), miserably going through my toy box, unable to figure out why my wife doesn’t understand that men have needs.

I think I might put my Kindle, iPhone, iPod, Psion organiser, PDA, Garmin Sat-Nav, a top of the range Sony Walkman, an electronic speed camera detector, five cameras, a Dictaphone, 2 CD players, a DVD player, a laptop computer, 4 mobile phones, 11 watches, a collection of fountain pens including 2 Mont Blanc, 3 MP3 players, iFlute stereo speaker, wireless headphones, Stressless Recliner and a telescope all on eBay. . . . . . .    No, I just couldn’t do it!  However the thought was there but once I looked on eBay, you wouldn’t believe the huge array of gadgets I found to buy.  What I want, what I really, really want is a bigger toy box!!!!!

That should teach her. Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars, Pah!!  He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead, now how could she say that?



About Jake

Long retired travel writer, author and freelance journalist. Educated at Wolverton Grammar and Greenwich Naval College. Happily married since 1958, with a married son and daughter, a married granddaughter and an adult grandson. Hobbies rock-climbing, dinghy racing and ocean racing. Still regularly working out in the gym.
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