Blame Brexit

I have had a long love affair with a car, now there’s a confession!  I’ve owned a top of the range V8 Lexus since it was just a two year old.  I call it a Louis XIV model because it has gold badges and bits all over.  I have also given it a name I am embarrassed to say because hitherto all cars have been nothing to me but tin boxes, and I’ve owned a few.  I’ve called my Lexus the novel name of Lexi.  That’s it, confession over and I am red faced.

Lexi is approaching 16 years old; it’s the car that I’d always promised myself when I retired and I’m certain that it will see me out in luxurious motoring for as long as I last.  Did I mention that she also has a personalised number plate which allows her to hide her age even though she is timeless?  The rich widow who I purchased her late husband’s, hardly used car from, didn’t mention the plate so neither did I.  The number plate is probably a lot more valuable than the car is; and no I don’t feel guilty.

On Saturday my local dealership sent me a gold inlaid, embossed invitation to the launch of their latest model.  I don’t need to change my car in fact as at my age, not only could I not justify the cost, my wife tells me that I couldn’t afford one anyway.  In spite of that I couldn’t resist having a look at the specification, just out of interest you understand.

I am also a self confessed gadget freak and tend to spoil myself with the latest boy’s toys such as iPhone, iPod, digital camera, thermal Wi-Fi printer, dash cam, etc, my toy box is overflowing.  You get the picture.  The ‘Confessions of a Shopaholic’ could have been written for me.  Anyway, back to the new model, the specification was chock-full of bait to tempt one such as me.  The lists of high tech gizmos such as multi-contour seats in the finest Connoly hide, with chambers which compensate for acceleration and cornering.  Split screen Satellite Navigation system that made my present one as outdated as a road map and Parking Cameras to the front and rear.  Individual rear passenger DVD players with wireless headphones, even in-car Wi-Fi, Advanced Voice Control for your phone, Auto Windscreen Wipers which switch themselves on at the first spot of rain.  Auto-dip Headlamps when it detects oncoming vehicles.  The car even alerts the driver if it detects drowsiness . . . . . . . and so on . . . . . and so on.

My juices were running, the Adrenalin kicked in and I went on to the dealership’s website. As I logged on someone immediately typed “Hello, my name is Martin how I can help you today?” Damn I’d been caught, sucker!   I typed, “Hi this is only a general enquiry for the price of the LS480, and I’m not really in the market.”  Martin quickly replied “You will never get a better time to buy.  Because of Brexit and the fall in the exchange rate, I am able to offer a one off price of just £71,999!” . . . .   Silence from my end . . . . .Oh my smart mouth . . . . . .  and then I typed “Did I miss something, is that special rate a buy one get one free offer?” . . . . . . . . . . .    Martin had hung up . . . . . .

Brexit indeed he obviously wasn’t aware of my Vote Leave/Grassroots Out campaign credentials.

Anyway what would I do with two cars?  I think that I will stick with Lexi; after all she is the other love in my life.  She is beautiful and in another 10 years she will be a Classic.  We are both maturing perfectly together! 

That’s it for another week, thanks for listening.  As Arnie in the Terminator said “I’ll be back!”

 

About Jake

Long retired travel writer, author and freelance journalist. Educated at Wolverton Grammar and Greenwich Naval College. Happily married since 1958, with a married son and daughter, a married granddaughter and an adult grandson. Hobbies rock-climbing, dinghy racing and ocean racing. Still regularly working out in the gym.

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